My husband is the 2nd oldest of his siblings. A sister came before him so when my husband came along 2 years later there was a lot of pressure and anxiety about having a boy. My mother-in-law was placed under great stress and there was even talk of getting a new wife if she did not produce a son.
So there was great joy when my husband was born and his 2 brothers after him.
So as I am married to the oldest son of the family I get top billing. A little bit more exceptions are placed on me and more respect is shown.
The current perk is that I get to choose what color Eid clothes I want out of the bulk of clothes my mother in law has bought her 3 daughter-in-laws. I don’t know what colors she has but if I pick a color she does not have she says she will go out and buy it for me. But I am picking blue becasue I always see her wearing blue or pink in pictures. I know she will probably have those colors and don’t want to add to her busy schedule.
I also feel greatly respected. My in-laws could just ignore me and not do any of the things they do. They could have never sent me Eid clothes that first year we were married and since I am not of their culture I would have never known they weren’t doing that yet doing in for my Indian counter-parts. They didn’t have to take the time to go out and purchase me clothing, take it somewhere to get tailored and then ship it overseas (with expensive shipping).
I have heard horror stories about intercultural marriages and Indian parents reactions. But it is all going back to this post about how my in-laws greatly respect my husband and his judgment so therefore respect me and his decision to marry me. I feel lucky against the statistics.
But I am treated like a full Indian member of their family. She seems to treat me as she would if I was Indian. Which can be both good and bad…but that’s a different topic for a different day.