I have noticed that my husband and I can be treated differently even when we are standing right next to each other.
It happened again a few days ago. I was at our apartments offices talking to the office workers. They smiled at me, offered me a chair, spoke politely. But my husband needed to talk to them to but could only by phone. I handled them my cell phone so they could talk to him. One lady was rolling her eyes has she was talking. Just like a rebellious teenager to his parents. She looked so stupid and so immature sitting there. I can’t even remember the last time I saw a grown woman rolling her eyes. But when she got off the phone she was all smiles with me.
I have noticed when we go out to eat we are often asked if we want separate checks, even though we are standing right next to each other and talking. This happened yesterday. I was waited for my husband to finish ordering, looking right at him, talking with him and still the cashier asks “Is this together?”
Sometimes when my husband starts talking the person will turn and look at me like I should be translating. There are also small details of how we are treated when we go places. People will often talk and look at me.
I am a majority and a majority with a very strong voice and political power. It’s noticeable in the way I am treated. He gets stopped at airport security and I never do. I did notice though…he didn’t in North Dakota. There was only one line, with no people waiting and only two security workers so maybe that had something to do with it.
But on the flip side, my husband is well liked at work and recently got promoted. So it’s not always like that. A lot of people have a lot of respect for him and he is very personable and wonderful at small talk.
But then there is me. Other Muslims assume I converted to Islam becasue of him. I get stared at in Indian stores and restaurants and I wonder how many of them think I am my husbands secret girlfriend his parents don’t know about. We go to Indian restaurants, order spicy food and ask for it to be spicy. When it comes…it’s mild, always very mild. I have even had waiters explain to me that Indian food is spicy so I am sure…?