Admitting Mistakes and That You Got Cocky About Medications

Now that the cat is out of the bag in terms of mental health…

When last college term was in full swing I was doing great. Had some stressful moments, but I was doing great and I passed all my classes and came out with a lot of things I didn’t have before. All A’s, a better GPA and even a mentor.

Unfortunately, I had started messing around with my medication. In order to stay awake studying and writing essays and getting up earlier I had to skip the medications that made me sleepy. And before I knew it I was skipping lots of my medication, taking some, skipping doses on others. Even forgetting I needed medication at all. Thinking I could handle it. Half dose here, full dose there. Thinking I will get back on my medication later.

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Of course it all fall apart, becasue those things don’t work. Thankfully I have two good doctors and a great husband. My medication is (slowly) getting back on track but I am lucky that I am not in school right now. That the only thing I really have to do right now is get healthy.

It’s proving to be harder then I remember. Updating medication is a pain, side effects are a pain. It’s tiring. It’s reality and it’s…humbling in many ways; I can afford medication, afford the doctor’s appointments, and I can afford the time it takes for me to feel better.

I made a mistake and I really just hurt myself and my family. However 50 to 60% of people with my illness with stop taking or wont take their medication like they should. I am admitting my mistake but I need to remember I am human or the guilt will eat me up and that wont help anyone either.

 

 

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