Quote Series: Albert Camus

I am started a quote series. Nothing special, basically just a bunch of quotes under one category.

Today’s quote:

“Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” By Albert Camus

“Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” By Albert Camus


Daily Prompt: Tattoo….You?

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/12/01/prompt-tattoo/  : Do you have a tattoo? If so, what’s the story behind your ink? If you don’t have a tattoo, what might you consider getting emblazoned on you skin?

Yes, I have three!

One is a very big, blunt reminder that I had been raped many times and never spoke up. It is a tattoo above my left breast that says “No silence” and has a rose vine next to it to show progress. When I finally did report it, it was years too late and he got away free while my husband and I have to live with the aftermath and damage everyday. But I report it and that took a lot of courage.

I am currently getting help for this. No worries there.

My next tattoo is a quote on my back, which many people disagree with about the meaning. Written by the German author Erich Maria Remarque, who wrote “All Quiet On The Western Front”, the quote is actually from that books sequel, “Three Comrades.”

The quote reads:

“Nothing is the mirror in which you see the world.”

Big meaning, lots of interpretations. For me Remarque’s “All Quiet…” was the first adult book I ever read. I found it in my mother old college books, faded and yellowed, it had been in her collection from books she read for college classes and with some of her notes. I picked it up during a very bad bout of depression when I was about 13 years old and I officially went from young adult to full adult books. Read it cover to cover and it really clicked with me. The lose of innocence, the despair of loosing your home, seeing things you can never forget and the endless sadness.

I knew I had to get a Remarque tattoo. That book was my first love so I had to honor the man that started the fire in me of reading so I could, for even a little while lose myself in books away from my depression and anxiety. I owe so much to books.

I now own three copies of that book, including that yellowed copy that was my mother’s.

My last tattoo is a on my ankle. Barbed wire and on the outside the German word of “Abschied” or “Farewell.” Why? I am not really sure. It is a sad tattoo, in a language that my family speaks at least a little bit. I guess German was a part of my life and I had to show it.

My tattoos. And I love them.

I’m Going Back To College!



I have decided that I am going to take some classes for Spring 2014 semester. I am excited and pretty nervous becasue I had been going to college but took a year off becasue of poor health. I am hoping I can take a few classes this semester and that my health will be okay.

And no…I have no idea what I want to”be” or what degree I want. That can wait…lets just see if I can get through this semester! I had actually written college off as one of those things that I liked, but could never finish. I had given up and was starting to move on with my life.

I do know the Spring will probably be the only time I can go to college. Fall is to unpredictable for me. So Spring is it

My plan for Spring 2014 is to take English II with the same teacher I took English I with. I really enjoyed her class and her teaching style. She also has a Pop English class, it’s a fun, once a week, only worth 1 credit class…but I thought it sounded like fun. I am also thinking of taking a History 101 class, since I love history. But I haven’t decided yet. I already regsitered for all of them so my place is reversed if I decide to go. The timings work with my schedule perfectly.

I have 13 days to decide what works for me. Lots of thinking to do.



Training And Yoga

My personal trainer of one and half months is trying to get me into yoga. At first I couldn’t understand why a huge amount of people do yoga and devote their lives to it.  Quickly realized that it is now one of my favorite activates.  I am still learning but I am planning on attending a yoga class given by my trainer tomorrow.


My personal trainer is truly a gem and a joy to be around. She helps motivate me, she listens to my concerns and she has lots of great advice. She is wonderful at her job and taking it very seriously. I rarely met such a enthusiast person.


A few ago I bought my first ever yoga magazine, called Yoga Journal.  This also help to motive me and drew me into this world I have never knew before.


So far I have learned…if you are going to do something like exercise realize that going to the gym every day is totally option.  While joining a gym is great and I am a member, I don’t confine myself to it. The would suck the fun right out of being fit and healthy.



North Dakota: On the Missouri River

Husband and I are visiting North Dakota at the moment. We are here for 7 days and have almost 3 days left. We have been wonderful tourist, going on a tour of historical sites and the State Capital in Bismarck (I will share later when I have more time.)

My family is from North Dakota and while I have never lived in ND I still feel like it is my very own mother ship. When I come here my spirit is rejuvenated and my soul heals. I don’t feel it is my home because the state I live in now is…to me ND is my roots.

My grandfather tooks us fishing on the Missouri River. We have caught only one fish so far but it is mostly about spending time with your family.


From the Docks


Fitness Idea: Join A Group!

I was telling someone that while I love the idea of hiking and want to go hiking tomorrow I was uncomfortable being out in the wilderness by myself. My friend suggested I try finding a group to hike with which for some reason didn’t even hit me until he said it.

A quick Google search and I found a group on the first link. The group has thousands of members, is very well organized and meets several times a week! It was more then I hoped for. I was thinking that if I found a group that it would be small and only meet once every few weeks.

Apparently I am not the only one who loves hiking. It is amazing how the power of the internet can connect you with so many people who have the same interests as you. Joining a group is a great idea for so many activities and will really keep you motivated.

I am going to meet them on Tuesday so change of plans, today I might head to the Zoo for a few hours or maybe just a park to road test new my hiking boots and Camelbak.

I think hiking can be my new very healthy hobby.

Fitness: ‘Light’ Food vs. ‘Heavy’ Food

Husband and I went out to eat tonight at a Mediterranean restaurant. There are two in our area, one gives you heaps of rice and is very greasy and the other has more light and fresh options.

In the past we went to the greasy place becasue it was closer but tonight we tried to fresher place again. It is now one of my favorite places to eat and sitting outside really felt good. It was a beautiful night.


Greek Salad with Feta and Olives with Greek Lemon Herbed Chicken Soup.

The soup turned out to be one of the best I have ever had.

But my point of this post is actually that I have found ‘lighter’ food has really helped me. I am not really talking about in terms of calories but more about the actual density of the food. I find there is a noticeable difference in energy afterwards. If the food is heavier I feel lethargic after eating but if it is lighter I feel more like the food was energy rather then added weight.

Fitness Goals: The Power And Peace Of Hiking

I plan on going out for a small hike tomorrow, the first true hiking I have done in a long time.  I have actually done a lot of hiking so I knew the first thing I needed was some hiking shoes so we went to REI. I also went to check out the Camelbak’s. Camelbak’s are expensive but dead useful. My new one, which was $85 and on sale also doubles as a backpack and has 70oz. water pack. With padded shoulder strips and a harness to hold it in place it will be comfortable and sturdy though I already know it will not be the lightest Camelbak made becasue of all the backpack space.

My new hiking gear from REI. 70oz Camelbak with space space to double as a backback and Marrell Hiking shoes.

My new hiking gear from REI. 70oz Camelbak and Marrell Hiking shoes.

I know, I know….I am starting to sound like a advertisement but I find them very important.

When I was about 12 my whole family, my little self included, each had a Camelbak, so I can totally testify how useful, wonderful and safer they are. My family went on hikes all the time and we even did over night camping once in awhile. We also had first aid, snake kits and so on.

Like all my recent goals, I am on my own. While my husband is at work I plan on taking myself to different state parks around my city. My goal is one park per week and repeating a park is okay. So the Camelbak becomes more important. And becasue I would be on my own if something happens and becasue my Camelbak would be harnessed to my body it probably wont get separated from me if I really need it.

I am even thinking of going to the Zoo. We have a membership and walking around the Zoo would take me a few hours. What good exercise for those days I can’t work up the energy for hikes. Though I might ditch the heavy hiker look and leave my Camelbak at home. But that’s a different topic for a different time…

If my husband does plan on joining me for a short hike or even a light camping trip I found the perfect thing for him at REI. Camp ready Indian food. I kid you not. And I checked out the reviews and people are saying it’s pretty good.


Cycling; I Would Love Too But…

I would love to add cycling to my list of fitness activities, but from where I sit looking into buying a nice shiny Schwinn sounds pointless.

Let me explain…I live in a apartment complex with has a good amount of road but that wont work for very long before I get bored and want to go on to a adventure. My apartment complex is on a large hill with nothing around it, but at the bottom of the hill is a nice shopping center. A starbucks, gas stations, bookstores, target and little shops my local town is good for.

But getting there is a problem. The road to get there is a 4 lane busy road with a speed limit of 50, one side doesn’t even have a sidewalk and there are no bike lanes in this road. I have seen bikes on this road before and it looks daugours. And then you run into another problem. Once you get there, as far as I can tell, there is no place to put your bike. There are no bike racks or safe place to keep your bike while you are drinking your latte and reading USA Today.

I see pictures of the UK and Europe and feel a bit envious. Bike racks seem common place. I am being to wonder if one of the reason the USA has weight problems is becasue things like biking to your local food store is not safe even if you wanted too. It would be wonderful if I could spend half an hour on my bike to get some fresh bread for dinner and get my daily outing and exercise at the same time.  I could bike to my doctor’s office, bike to get my medication, bike to get a new book and even a local bakery becasue distance wise it would be perfect but it simply doesn’t look to be the least bit safe getting there and God forbid that I have to cross the street


Bicycle Racks, West Yorkshire UK.
Credit: Wikipedia. Author: Mtaylor848

I Started On My First Goals!

Happy August everyone.

It’s been a few days since I have written. Instead of sitting around and wishing and wanting to change I actually got off my ass and did something about it. Okay, well not really…I actually sat on my ass and opened my computer to find websites and information.

So I signed up for a near by local gym. And I hired a personal trainer because I have no idea how to get myself into shape. Yes, I can buy those stupid women’s health magazines which go on about having a flat stomach and a little butt but I didn’t think that would really get me anywhere or give me the least bit support. In fact a magazine will give you no support at all becasue well…you can just throw it away if you feel it’s mocking you and your un-progress.

I really need to talk to the trainer about how to get into those things I used to be able to do. I have never been overweight before, I have never had to worry about it and now I find myself barely being able to go up the stairs so I can’t expect myself to be able to jump into a swimming pool and do 20 laps. I need to know how to start and how to reach my goals and to do it safely.

I also looked into other activities becasue as I said I know I will get bored if I just go to a gym every day. Since I used to really enjoy swimming, I found a place I can use their indoor pool when I want for $3/ visit or I can buy a pass from them for $150/year. I found a website that lists all walks and runs in my state. There are two I am interested in in the next month in my city so I looking to enter those.

I really miss horseback riding and I used to be very good at it. So I found two different places I can get lessons from so I can ride again.


There a lot of golf courses near my house and I thought…why not add that of my list of activities that I can try out?

So clearly I am not afraid of trying new things…for the most part. Add that to hiking and biking and I think I’ve got something going.

But I can also feel that I am very alone in all this. While my husband likes I am getting into fitness and having goals, it is also clear he doesn’t plan on joining me very much and well be a wet blanket. I think this is okay as I don’t mind being independent but it does leave me feeling a bit lonely. While I am busy looking up all these things and making careful notes of websites and prices he doesn’t normally pay much attention. He doesn’t know anything about swimming or horseback riding. He wouldn’t understand how a good swimming suit is important for better cutting through the water or why it’s very very important to wear the correct foot wear around horses (and no, it’s not cheap) unless you want a few toes broken on the off chance the horse steps on you.

But all in good time. I am excited about meeting the trainer in a few hours and I hope it goes well.