Now that the cat is out of the bag in terms of mental health…
When last college term was in full swing I was doing great. Had some stressful moments, but I was doing great and I passed all my classes and came out with a lot of things I didn’t have before. All A’s, a better GPA and even a mentor.
Unfortunately, I had started messing around with my medication. In order to stay awake studying and writing essays and getting up earlier I had to skip the medications that made me sleepy. And before I knew it I was skipping lots of my medication, taking some, skipping doses on others. Even forgetting I needed medication at all. Thinking I could handle it. Half dose here, full dose there. Thinking I will get back on my medication later.
Of course it all fall apart, becasue those things don’t work. Thankfully I have two good doctors and a great husband. My medication is (slowly) getting back on track but I am lucky that I am not in school right now. That the only thing I really have to do right now is get healthy.
It’s proving to be harder then I remember. Updating medication is a pain, side effects are a pain. It’s tiring. It’s reality and it’s…humbling in many ways; I can afford medication, afford the doctor’s appointments, and I can afford the time it takes for me to feel better.
I made a mistake and I really just hurt myself and my family. However 50 to 60% of people with my illness with stop taking or wont take their medication like they should. I am admitting my mistake but I need to remember I am human or the guilt will eat me up and that wont help anyone either.